Do you ever tell yourself something over and over?  You may even believe it for a second…then for two seconds…5 minutes..30 minutes and maybe even 1 hour..BUT:  then you don’t. You don’t believe it.  That’s me.  I do okay, then I slip, then….I’m GOOD, I can do this (I say with GUSTO).  Then I can’t.  Gosh this roller coaster is crazy and I don’t like.  I always felt so in control of my day, my emotions, my life.  Now it is painfully clear that all of that was a facade.  I never had any control, I just thought I did.  That thought actually brings me some comfort.  I feel more real now.  I’m plugging along on this cold and sunny Friday…learning to let go….



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