Visit #2

I’m looking for a word to describe how I feel when my son visits.  He is able to earn 8 hour ‘passes’ away from the probationary facility he is housed in.  Today was his second visit home.  He will be having a birthday in 5 days — turning 18.  Should be exciting, should be celebratory…we aren’t feeling either.   

We invited family over today to chill, have a meal, hang out.  My son also invited a few friends to join in.  Only two friends showed up, he has burned a lot of bridges yet was so sad, frustrated and disappointed when friends didn’t show up today.  He lashed out at me as well…so tired of that.  Tired of the emotional roller coaster all of us are on.

I don’t know the word

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