Back peddling

I’m jumping right in here.

My son had an eight-hour pass yesterday, he choose to use 2 of the hours finding some sort of drug and taking too much of it.  When he was dropped back off at home by his ‘friend’ he was as pale as a ghost and had a sheen of sweat all over his face.  He didn’t admit to taking anything but the evidence was overwhelming.  I felt like I was punched in the gut and even feel that same immense feeling now as I type.  He had been ‘dropped’ at his place of residence (men’s probationary facility) on Saturday night so (in my motherly experience) he figured he could safely do some drugs without the fear of being drug tested again on Sunday.  The consequences of this could have sent him back to jail IF he had been dropped.  Why, why, why would he take this chance?

As I drove him back last night, I had him turn the radio down very low.  I told him I was certain he had taken some sort of drug and that he would have to deal with those consequences whatever they may be; that I loved him more than I love myself and that his dad and I would do anything to help and support him.  However, we can’t do ‘it’ for him.  He has to take the steps to accept our help and support.  He took my hand, told me thank you and that he loved me…while tears stained his cheeks.

Sleep didn’t come for me last night.  I found myself searching on the internet for words of wisdom to offer up to him AGAIN.  For words of support and encouragement.  I’m so afraid for him right now.


I hate this quote…..


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