Escaping reality

I’m hopping on a jet and meeting my husband in Munich today.  One day of running around there

then…

Heading to Bellagio, Italy for 6 days!  Just him and me.

My wonderful parents will hold down the fort for us.

Can you say LOVELY ESCAPE?

 

 

 

 

Back peddling

I’m jumping right in here.

My son had an eight-hour pass yesterday, he choose to use 2 of the hours finding some sort of drug and taking too much of it.  When he was dropped back off at home by his ‘friend’ he was as pale as a ghost and had a sheen of sweat all over his face.  He didn’t admit to taking anything but the evidence was overwhelming.  I felt like I was punched in the gut and even feel that same immense feeling now as I type.  He had been ‘dropped’ at his place of residence (men’s probationary facility) on Saturday night so (in my motherly experience) he figured he could safely do some drugs without the fear of being drug tested again on Sunday.  The consequences of this could have sent him back to jail IF he had been dropped.  Why, why, why would he take this chance?

As I drove him back last night, I had him turn the radio down very low.  I told him I was certain he had taken some sort of drug and that he would have to deal with those consequences whatever they may be; that I loved him more than I love myself and that his dad and I would do anything to help and support him.  However, we can’t do ‘it’ for him.  He has to take the steps to accept our help and support.  He took my hand, told me thank you and that he loved me…while tears stained his cheeks.

Sleep didn’t come for me last night.  I found myself searching on the internet for words of wisdom to offer up to him AGAIN.  For words of support and encouragement.  I’m so afraid for him right now.

 

I hate this quote…..

The encourager

Do they make vitamins for those of us whose role it is to encourage – all the time?  The one friends and family look to to hear ‘everything will be okay’, the one people need to see smiling, the one everyone wants to hear the positive spin you’ve put on your circumstances…

Is there a vitamin for that?

It’s exhausting.  I’m tired of trying to make everyone see that ‘this too shall pass’.  

I’m a downer right now; I’m just feeling sorry for myself.  Please let me vent for a moment…..

 

Visit #2

I’m looking for a word to describe how I feel when my son visits.  He is able to earn 8 hour ‘passes’ away from the probationary facility he is housed in.  Today was his second visit home.  He will be having a birthday in 5 days — turning 18.  Should be exciting, should be celebratory…we aren’t feeling either.   

We invited family over today to chill, have a meal, hang out.  My son also invited a few friends to join in.  Only two friends showed up, he has burned a lot of bridges yet was so sad, frustrated and disappointed when friends didn’t show up today.  He lashed out at me as well…so tired of that.  Tired of the emotional roller coaster all of us are on.

I don’t know the word

Different focus

I so often say to myself: stop worrying about things you cannot control….well I took my own advice the last two days and am so pleasantly surprised at how smoothly the days have gone.  I shall try it again tomorrow and next day.  I am going to try and focus on the moments not the hours or the days or the months…wish me luck!

Now totally off the subject of my tales of woe….if you are a fan of the FOX show ’24’ with Keifer Sutherland….it starts in 10 minutes….get in front of your tv and ENJOY!!!   If you have never watched it…OH MY GOSH….find your local FOX station and be prepared to be exhausted when it is over!!  ENJOY and thanks for the wishes of luck!