Well, well – it has been a VERY long time since I wrote anything here.
I really should go back an re-read my last entry.
Life is moving slowly and I love it. I’m not looking too far ahead and certainly trying to not look back.
I have trust issues that I work on daily. I am treasuring family dinners, texts, silly photos, hugs, nighttime chats, small celebrations, thanking God for my trials because I feel strong. Riding the waves of life and trying to not get sea sick.
When someone breaks your trust over and over, how do you open yourself up to give them another chance? Or don’t you? My head says “no way, enough is enough”. My heart says, “when you love someone you forgive them, let them try again”. I am torn. Do I just pretend to trust; act like I’m trusting, but keep my heart protected? I don’t like the idea of not being genuine…but the thought of being disappointed and hurt yet again gives me an upset stomach. I know I am getting ahead of myself, predicting the future, but I am so hesitant to believe anything my son says. I feel the like the hits keep coming…